Musings Of A New Doc

A funny narrative on how Facebook has simplified deletion procedure to now take only 14 days, instead of several months that it earlier required

Had it been any other website, deleting your account wouldn't need anybody of my stature to write any separate tutorial. Alas there is one global demonic network called Facebook, that every man joins making death as his final farewell. For all members keen on leaving, Facebook will not shy away from exerting blunt psychological pressure, temptations and even disillusionment. Its not be easy I know that, but its possible, and I know that too. With sheer willpower, resolve and this tutorial, you can make it past the 14 day+ tortuous procedure of deleting your Facebook account.

Remember, any deviation from the stated techniques can round you up to start all over again. Do as directed, and leave the rest on Facebook to accept your humble request for a decent exit from the site.

First, understand the fine line of distinction between deactivating an account and deleting an account. Facebook has been kind enough to only make prominent the 'deactivate account' option, just in case somebody attempts to make an impulsive exit out of Facebook. The deactivated account, as Facebook puts it, will not be available for your friends or anybody to search or view your information. However once your anger vanes and brain box cools, you can resume your Facebook activity without any significant interruption.

Facebook clearly understands the impulsivity that translates into your brash act of clicking the 'deactivate' button (conveniently located under the 'Account Settings' on top row of your profile). For that reason alone, it will display some of the choicest pictures from your beloved friends featuring you with the caption 'Are you sure you want to deactivate? _________ will miss you'. Such heartfelt calling from your friends will resonate with some of your pleasant memories and hopefully you would be able to subdue your wayward anguish that led you here in the first place (wait a minute, is it just me or Facebook keeps a note of who I am stalking most??)

Just in case if you missed the fine print at the bottom of the 'Deactivate Account' page, Facebook meekly declares: 'Even after you deactivate, your friends can still invite you to events, tag you in photos, or ask you to join groups. If you opt out, you will NOT receive these email invitations and notifications from your friends'. Wait a minute, wasn't my information or profile already not available to my friends following deactivation? Eh I need to move on, am no Einstein or Zuckerberg.

Facebook needs reasons. If you are deactivating, it wants to know what exactly your motive is. Otherwise shoo! It is required and mandatory that you tick any one or more of the given options as your plausible reasons, and if you tick 'Other' as I did, do not take the text box beneath it for granted. It has to be filled in, probably in light of rules of English grammar and sentence structure to make for a valid deactivation request. Do that, recall your password into the text box that follows and you have an email from Facebook in your inbox next minute stating your decision to deactivate.

Watch out when you open up the email however. If you click on any link that leads you back to Facebook, you would be thought of as 'reverted' to Facebook for social networking. That would terminate your deactivation and you would be welcomed with open arms).

Now coming to actual deletion, you would have to go back to Facebook. My apologies for showing you the longer route, but believe me, Facebook's narrative of how to best delete account so intimately links deactivation and deletion that I held that you have to first deactivate an account to ultimately delete it. I have been wrong –you have to head straight for deletion, and that keeps the account deactivated for 14 days prior to actual deletion. Not at all complex.

If not for this article, you may have a hard time looking for the account delete page on Facebook. Even searching Facebook help for 'Deletion' won't lead you to the Account Deletion Request. Look no further; the real place for Account Deletion Page is here –certainly a very unlikely place to hide such a link (hyperlinked to the help page on the topic? Hello!). Once again, Facebook has been kind on us; else we would be losing a significant share of our more impulsive brethren on Facebook. With such a disguised link, they are bound to go astray. I would recommend that you Bookmark the page just in case circumstances catch you unprepared and you need a quick social networking homicide.

Wait a minute I might be missing something. O yes, this page will officially submit a request on your behalf to Facebook for account deletion. You are not to wander off to Facebook out of habit for the next two weeks. Only after you submit a formal request, and are subsequently found missing for two weeks straight will your account be terminated. That is still way better than the earlier procedure, which needed that you manually delete all your posts one by one to completely disappear for good on Facebook. So in effect, Facebook has reduced the time required for even simple tasks like account deletion from several months (in case of manual deletion of all the posts, each followed by 'Are you sure you want to delete…') to only 14 days. That is an improvement!